A rather successful career women and someone I admire, told me today that we women are trapeze artists, constantly juggling many roles while trying to find perfect balance. How hopelessly true is that?

Wanting to have a successful business, feeling weird at the pit of my stomach to have missed out on a good career path, wanting to take care of my family and spend time with my husband, staying happy and living a balanced life. I want all of it and Lord! I need to breathe!

I think I’ve signed up for much more than I can chew. At the start of my “new adventure”, I promised myself to do a few tasks, (read, sail in many boats while hoping not to drown). And I feel sad that over these past couple of months, I’ve achieved a mammoth task but that doesn’t refrain me from beating myself over the other things that have suffered profusely. My blog – GypsyFly is suffering and so is my personal life. I have not managed to take time out for workouts and many social gatherings. I won’t deny that a visit at my new store (when buzzing with clients), gives me immense happiness, but does that justify the sacrifices I might make along the way?

When I quit the job, I assumed that I would have 48 and not 24 hours on my clock. I assumed I’ll will be able to do much more than I was able to do in, after job hours. No doubt that my flexibility has increased many folds, but so has the stakes and responsibility. Also, with each passing day and week I am missing out on the steps of corporate ladder (making peace with it, as it wasn’t challenging towards the last few months). Yes! Challenge is what I seek and it’s right here staring at my face, laughing its guts out.

I am an ambitious, probably a tad bit more than my female counterparts. I don’t settle for anything for the heck of it and that’s the reason I always end up signing for more and abandon what doesn’t work per my liking. Many say that I can manage a little leeway because I am a women and don’t have liabilities. I know well enough that no justification is needed for any of your actions that doesn’t impact others. But just to present my side,  I’ve always given my 100% to whatever I signed up for, be it my yester years’ career of fashion photography and fashion styling or my last 6 odd years at digital marketing. I got decent success to justify my time given to each profession while I made my living. The things that I do have a leeway with are the blessings and support of the family and a mighty strong head.

Amidst all the things, I am fighting a constant battle. I am seeing my corporate high designation job slipping away while I savor this bitter-sweet victory of a gorgeous colorful business. All I wish for two heads, four arms and 48 hours in a day or maybe just one more me with me.

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